please excuse the mess while i fuck with the design. I haven’t written my own code in years so give me a few. Back asap =)
"Let me know that I've done wrong, when I've known this all along."
And it always comes back to some fuck shit like this. The dirty games we love to play. Hopscotch. Tick tack toe. I’m going bananas. Slap fuck shit banana rama madness.
Imma start this off ass backwards. Hold that thought.
watch it —-
bubble up 0OoOo
Cookin up the good stuff.
Made ya do a double take..
DON’T FUCKIN LIE TO ME. !!
Anyways, let’s focus and get back on topic. If that’s what ya wanna call it. So this whole day has been utterly insane. Wait.. not really but fuck it, I’ll say it for entertainments sake ;D What did I do? Well let’s see….. I baked a cake (seriously, I did.. and it was good.)
“Was the cake I made any good?”
“Yea.” – Conman
Well, nuff said bout that bitch, apparently it wasn’t as great as I thought. So much for the HOMEMADE FUCKIN FROSTING AND SPRINKLES BITCH. Typical man.
I also painted my nails. All twenty of those bitches fuckin HOTT pink. Oh yea, good times. But really they look good. But what about me doesn’t? Oh man there I go again with that cocky ass bullshit. Fucking A man. I can’t fuckin help myself.
“Crush ya pills like I crush ya brain” – His take on the goddamned Eminem song. ASS backwards. At least we know now that Eminem snorts Tylenol 3s. Who wouldv’e guessed??! And only half a klonapin?? Wow.. information like that makes you really look at life in a whole new light.
Those look more like candy than pills. identify any of those and I’ll give ya madd props. DO IT.
Well, ya wanna hear about the rest of my day? Probably not. Ya’ll don’t come here to read about me do you?
I didn’t think so. But why we playing I’m kinda diggin the whole “list” thing so here’s some more to ad to my list of HOTT JAM LIKES:
* Fuzzy blankets
* The real slim shady
(side note: I am digging his latest protege Yelawolf.. sexy as fuck.. Check out the page exclusively devoted to him)
* My god damned computer. Fuck with it again and I fuck you. We know how much ya love that.
* Cereal –> Newly found fav of mine. Did I mention I hate milk?
* Cigarettes. For real, I’m fiendin.. what else is new..
* The sense of touch ;D
* My sexy body
Took my swag, wish you would. I look good.
Yea imma jumpin like a motherfuckin trampoline. So what. It’s fuckin fun.. I ain’t playin’..
“Heavy greased duct tape.” - Please explain this to me. I am still wonderin what in the fuck?!
Oh yea, before I go and as I listen to THE MAN Led Zepplin.. I must tell you about my newest additions. A bruised lip thanks to a pack of Camel Crush BOLD. I did not think a bruise was possible on your lip, but apprently it is. I got outta the shower and was like “Why in the fuck do I have ash on my lip?? I just washed my face”.. Not ah, bruised bitches. And my second addition to the family of Hott JAM you fuckin cunt is a mark on my chest right above my boobies. It looks like someone carved a “C” into my skin. And I know what you’re thinkin.. Conman how could you carve into her precious skin?? But there was nothing sharped involved. That I know of. Property of the Conartist.
Oh yea and one more thing you should know:
“The livin room dirty but I always keep the kitchen clean.”
And if ya wanna see some recent pix let’s all chip together to get Miss Twak-attack a webcam.. ya hurr.. I’m serious, I’m in need and I know ya’ll are too. Inquire within. aka paypal or ship directly here.. I don’t give a fuck..
“I know how to bring it back”….. ;D
- – - – Keep goin’, I’m almost done wit ya. For real this time.
I wouldn’t live life any other way..
Try goin’ from having everything to nothin. And I’m not just semi-quotin some Eminem lyrics here. This is what happened to me. And you know what? I wouldn’t change a god damned thing. Just like I tell everyone who has known me over the years.. I’m happier than I have ever been – happiest I’ve been for as far back as I can remember. Call me crazy, Call me insane, call me whatever.. I’ll take it. Any fucking day.
\\\\ I can’t feel my face.
Well another one bites the dust.
“All these little young kids ain’t got no direction
Shit, these lil kids is on everything..”
Back to the the topic at motherfucking hand. This town I call HOME continues to remind me why I hate living here. It continues to take every last bit of life from me day by fucking day. As if things could get worse. Boss is behind bars and we stuck here, playing with ourselves trying to figure out our next move. It’s no longer just about me, I have you to think about. What once was as easy as putting on a push up bra and walking outside now requires a more thought out plan. It’s amazing how in minutes everything can change.
These pathetic excuses for law enforcement think they can slow down the show. Well sorry dudes, we got another thing coming for ya. Keep ya on your lil toes. Yeah you god damn right if imma slow down cause I need to watch my back. I was raised with a little bit more dignity than that fuckers. Can’t keep us down for long ;D No fear when there ain’t nothin more to lose.
“I’m the real macaroni you cheesy bitch, I’m demonic with the craft
There’s a devil in my noodle, you angel hair pasta
Flows dreaded like some f-cking tangled hair rasta…”
They don’t realize they wastin their time on the small fry. There’s a lot worse shit goin down in this town. Real crimes. Rape. Murder. Hell even robbery. But I could go on for days, and it won’t change a god damn thing. So just for the record know we on to you and ain’t gunna back down. That’s for SURE. 850.. represent. Keep wishin while you got your hands down your pants. IN YOUR DREAMS we smashin.
I enjoy the small things in life..
Free mp3 downloads.
Making this website.
Dressing like a trick.
Gettin soakin wet in the middle of a hot summer downpour.
Ya know.. the usual.
“So, baby, come put ya feet up in these stirrups
Your boyfriend better find another f-cking whore to smash the stir up..”
Damn I look good. God damnit I’m fly. You better get ya man in check.
Cocky much? Fuck ya. I know I look good.
Yea real mature mash on my keyboard. If I did that you would slap me right upside the face. Fuck you, not my fault. Oh wait, “I’ll break you in half”.. Thanks.
My dad always told me I could be whatever I wanted to be in life. I realize now how right he was. Back up off me bitch. I might be little but I’m tired of being pushed around like some joke. The joke is the fucker who feels big because he can push around someone smaller than him. Break a lighter, cause that’s mature. I’m hurt but that doesn’t matter because in your eyes it’s all my fault anyways. Be 21 bout it. Take some responsibility.
“Ballin’ is a drug I don’t mind abusin..”
Well this went in a direction I didn’t intend whatsoever. My best thoughts do come at random, but I can no longer think straight. Hell who wants to read this kind of fuck shit.
Rain, rain go away. Actually it’s quite peaceful but there’s a tension in this house a knife couldn’t even cut. It’s one of those days where no matter what you do you can’t get comfortable. It’s as if everything that has been troubling you finally has fallen out of the sky and no one wants to say or do anything about it.
And someone please tell me why the fuck the first time I see an ice cream truck this year is on a day it rains??! Does that make any fucking sense whatsoever??
“Woahhh fell down and hit me in the face when I laid down.” Those tacks are deadly..
I didn’t sleep much last night. I know why, but I’m not gunna tell ya. My mind was stuck on something. Wow I tell ya the hand we’re dealt is always a surprise. Just read my mind why dontya.
So it was a slow but pleasant morning. The coolflorida mornin air came through my window as I sat at my computer. I havent done much anything else in the last few days but sit here. Escaping. While allen mumbles to his mom about the open cubby hole doors. Wtf Conman?? WAKE UP BITCH!!
The sun was out sooner than I could get comfy and it got humid fast. And then the rain came. So refreshing I stood outside for awhile just enjoying the droplets falling on my skin. Smash queen fiend. wait…. what?! hehehe. God I look good.
quit lookin down my shirt guys..
haha.. okay you can tell what’s on my mind ;D
So my day ended up twaktacular.. twaktastic. it was good yall.
Chillin wit my partner in crime, Conman. Real-life Bonnie & Clyde. We work well together and are miserable when seperated. Why? I guess WE that good. Some of his relations stopped by and we chilled. Nothing like a brand new piece to make a girl all wide-eyed. Fuckin-A right.
“You look so serious.. like youre plotting on kickin some asses in a minute..” – Hott JAM
“I’m gunna do a line and kick some ass.. WATCH OUT I’M CRAZY!” – ARC
Word. You better move bitch, get out the way!
PERFECT! Bite down.
Now imma get my head split. AND I swear that fridge has it out for me. Motherfucking bitch. “Yeah git er twakstar, that fridge is fuckin with ya” – Conman. Are we weird? Nah.. just not normal and I enjoy it.
“What is that” – J
“What?” – A
“That noise! Did you get a new ringtone or something? Oh wait, it’s the computer playin music” – J
“Wowwww….” – A
Yea, it’s been one of those kind of days. And now I must wrap up for right now. We ewxpectin a call.. I’ll fill ya in on the flip side. Until then, get your bottle ready ;D
Whats happenin? Personally I’m seriously fiendin for a cig. This no job thing has it downsides too. It’s not all fun and games. BUT WHO AM I KIDDIN? I have no worries.. thanks to my conman.. yup I’m happy. Surprised? You should be, my life is GREAT.
This website/blog/whatever the fuck IT IS wasn’t my idea. Thanks JEFF ;D feel free to give him props at email@example.com.
So here it all begins. My journey into “bloggin”? that doesn’t even sound cool. but this will be the coolest blog.. no.. website ever. Maybe it will at the very least make ya laugh. So come on in and join me and my homies in this lame ass town. We will supply the entertainment. We quite the bunch.
No need to buckle up, just enjoy the RiDe.. but if you are easily offended or a square you might wanna go ahead and leave this bitch. Until later,
this hot little twakedup star they call JUSTINE <33
p.S. (a few hours later) NEVER leave a man in charge. i swear, you can’t even close your eyes for a few minutes.
about another hour later……
Move Bitch turn the volume up and PLAY THIS!
On a regular old mission, we were cruisin down the road. Gucci Mane is comin on strong through the speakers… this is how we do, and then WAM! What in the hell was that? A motherfucking brut of a deer just ran slap into the front on the truck. That bitch was huge! Hadta of been four hundred pounds. That truck creamed that dirty sonofabitch dead center and it rolled under the truck. “It took a lickin and we kept a kickin’”… The damage was done. The whole god damned system was damn near in the front seat. Poor old boy was damn near in tears. I think that system tearing through the back seat killed him more than anything. As we drove away from the crime scene we regained composure.. or at least tried to. We didn’t even get out to look at the damage and instead he turned us around and we headed back home. As we took that right hand turn a gut wrenching sound came from below and we knew then that the truck was most def fucked.
The ride home took FOREVER son. when we finally pulled in the driveway we hopped out to assess the damage. ”Yea, I creamed that bitch.”
1. Front body and under carriage TORE UP especially front drivers side
2. Tires: fucked
3. Washer fluid cap gone
4. Oil pan leaking? Probably.
5. System? Fucked fo sure. That bitch was coming out TONIGHT he said. He don’t play ya’ll..
I’m sure there’s more but I’m DUMB when it comes to talking about vehicles. There was some loose hair and guts splattered about. The dogs sure loved that shit.
“That was a BIG ASS bitch..” Ol’ Conman said as he reflected over the nights event. Sure was, sure enough was. That dirty ol’ bitch got FUCKED UP. Lights out Bambi.
[Should of been posted dated 9/19/11, but sometimes ya just too busy to sit down and finish something god damnit.]