Life sucks, why am I suffering?
Feeling troubled? You’re not alone. Everyone has their moments where they feel total anguish or despair. Suffering is a normal consequence of human life. It feels as though our world is ending, that our lives will not get any better and there is nothing anybody can do to change it. But why do we feel this way?
Suffering and the Four Noble Truths
The phrase life is suffering is a loose translation of the first of Buddhas four noble truths. Since Buddha did not speak English many people disagree with the translation, but the phrase itself, life is suffering, is reminiscent of the concept of theme presented in the first of Buddhas Four Noble Truths.
Three points to clarify…
* Life means suffering because human nature is not perfect and neither is the world. Suffering is a normal part of human life and can not be avoided. The sooner we accept this, the easier our lives will be able to manage while we are suffering.
* Suffering can be both referenced as both physical or psychological depending on the situation. The statement, life is suffering, in the following paragraphs is used in terms of psychological suffering as described by feelings mental anguish or despair.
* Human beings ultimately want to achieve comfort which is the opposite of suffering… However we are never able to keep permanently what we want or strive for. So in other words even when we achieve comfort in our life, it will not last forever. This temporary comfort spoils some of us so that when we hit a bump in the road, so to speak, our life becomes chaotic and unmanagable. Then those feelings of anguish and despair slowly creep back in, and we are back to where we started from.
Who is to Blame for Suffering?
Given these few brief points let’s say our friend Mickey is having relationship problems. He has been with his girlfriend Kelsey for over four years and they have been having the same issues for as long as he can remember.
Why can’t she just do things this way?
Why does she do this if she knows I will get mad?
I’m sure you have been through this type of relationship drama, or a similar situation in which one of you is never really satisfied with the state of your affairs. Often times arguments occur because you do not see eye to eye on something.
From my experiences I have learned that most human beings are creatures of habit. No matter how hard we try to get them to change or are clearly suffering because of their lack of regard for our suffering. They will never change unless they want to and chances are they won’t want to because they don’t see any problem with the issue that has caused suffering in your life. Why can’t he or she just change? Why can’t he/she act differently? If unresolved these feelings can eat away slowly as a perfectly good relationship begins to rot away.
Suffering is quite simply a consequence of being human - no matter how we go about it, life literally is suffering as Buddha is translated as saying, is inevitable. Struggles and suffering even makes us stronger as people, but when we get stuck in a state of suffering it can become troublesome. When we stop compromising and stop going with the flow – that’s when it turns out to get ugly.
The Blame Game
In our friend Mickey’s case, it seems he blames the unwillingness of his girlfriend for the anguish he often feels. He is blaming her for making him feel a certain way. She could change, sure, but why should she if the problem is that Mickey is just having a hard time accepting life as imperfect. You cannot just put blame on others for problems that are internal and ultimately that you are responsible for.
Without Kelsey in his life Mickey feels incomplete, but with her he does not feel satisfied, at least for very long. Either Mickey needs to accept the Kelsey and her imperfections and the suffering that comes along with life in general – or the two lovers just need to part ways.
Yes life is suffering, we all experience it, but there comes a point when we suffer far greater than we should.
In the End We Must Decide…
Whatever happens, blaming others (or life in general) is not going to improve the situation and just prolongs the inevitable. We are responsible for our actions. We simply do not have the power to change others. Yes, we can influence changes in other people, but people will not change until they want to.
This is why people suck. But if life was easy and ran smoothly, we would complain about the boredom in our lives. No matter what happens to us or what we do, life will always be about maintaining a balance between two extremes.
As humans we need variety, we need to experience both sides of the spectrum – both suffering and comfort. But remember to be careful – too much of one can be troublesome.
This article is opinion based – if you want to learn more, you will only grasp the concepts more fully.
Below are articles relatively similar in topic to the on you have just finished reading. Develop your own point of view – but make sure to understand why other people may disagree with you.
(life may have suffering) but LIFE IS GOOD :)
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