Imma start this off ass backwards. Hold that thought.

 

watch it —-

bubble up 0OoOo

 

Cookin up the good stuff.

Made ya do a double take..

DON’T FUCKIN LIE TO ME. !!

Anyways, let’s focus and get back on topic. If that’s what ya wanna call it. So this whole day has been utterly insane. Wait.. not really but fuck it, I’ll say it for entertainments sake ;D What did I do? Well let’s see….. I baked a cake (seriously, I did.. and it was good.)

“Was the cake I made any good?”

“Yea.” – Conman

Well, nuff said bout that bitch, apparently it wasn’t as great as I thought. So much for the HOMEMADE FUCKIN FROSTING AND SPRINKLES BITCH. Typical man.

I also painted my nails. All twenty of those bitches fuckin HOTT pink. Oh yea, good times. But really they look good. But what about me doesn’t? Oh man there I go again with that cocky ass bullshit. Fucking A man. I can’t fuckin help myself.

 

“Crush ya pills like I crush ya brain” – His take on the goddamned Eminem song. ASS backwards. At least we know now that Eminem snorts Tylenol 3s. Who wouldv’e guessed??! And only half a klonapin?? Wow.. information like that makes you really look at life in a whole new light.

 

 

Those look more like candy than pills. identify any of those and I’ll give ya madd props. DO IT.

 

Well, ya wanna hear about the rest of my day? Probably not. Ya’ll don’t come here to read about me do you?

I didn’t think so. But why we playing I’m kinda diggin the whole “list” thing so here’s some more to ad to my list of HOTT JAM LIKES:

* Fuzzy blankets

* Gasoline

* The real slim shady

(side note: I am digging his latest protege Yelawolf.. sexy as fuck.. Check out the page exclusively devoted to him)

* My god damned computer. Fuck with it again and I fuck you. We know how much ya love that.

* Cereal –> Newly found fav of mine. Did I mention I hate milk?

* Cigarettes. For real, I’m fiendin.. what else is new..

* The sense of touch ;D

* My sexy body

 

 

Took my swag, wish you would. I look good.

Yea imma jumpin like a motherfuckin trampoline. So what. It’s fuckin fun.. I ain’t playin’..

 

“Heavy greased duct tape.”  - Please explain this to me. I am still wonderin what in the fuck?!

 

Oh yea, before I go and as I listen to THE MAN Led Zepplin.. I must tell you about my newest additions. A bruised lip thanks to a pack of Camel Crush BOLD. I did not think a bruise was possible on your lip, but apprently it is. I got outta the shower and was like “Why in the fuck do I have ash on my lip?? I just washed my face”.. Not ah, bruised bitches. And my second addition to the family of Hott JAM you fuckin cunt is a mark on my chest right above my boobies. It looks like someone carved a “C” into my skin. And I know what you’re thinkin.. Conman how could you carve into her precious skin?? But there was nothing sharped involved. That I know of. Property of the Conartist.

 

 

Oh yea and one more thing you should know:

“The livin room dirty but I always keep the kitchen clean.”

 

And if ya wanna see some recent pix let’s all chip together to get Miss Twak-attack a webcam.. ya hurr.. I’m serious, I’m in need and I know ya’ll are too. Inquire within. aka paypal or ship directly here.. I don’t give a fuck..

 

 

“I know how to bring it back”…..  ;D

- – - – Keep goin’, I’m almost done wit ya. For real this time.

 

 

I wouldn’t live life any other way..

 

Try goin’ from having everything to nothin. And I’m not just semi-quotin some Eminem lyrics here. This is what happened to me. And you know what? I wouldn’t change a god damned thing. Just like I tell everyone who has known me over the years.. I’m happier than I have ever been – happiest I’ve been for as far back as I can remember. Call me crazy, Call me insane, call me whatever.. I’ll take it. Any fucking day.

 

 

 

\\\\                                                                        I can’t feel my face.